as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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