He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
