What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
