My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My vagina is officially offended.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize