He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
