come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
