dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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