Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
