There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
