KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
