how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize