actually, I'm a sock model
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
