she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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