Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You may now shotgun with the bride
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize