Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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