i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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