He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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