i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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