What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Randomize
