No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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