i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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