Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
