Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize