where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just high enough for therapy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
