No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Fuck appropriateness.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
