So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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