We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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