I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
