It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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