We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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