actually, I'm a sock model
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
