I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
