I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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