I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
