Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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