I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
