i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
