4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
