You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
