how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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