Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
