dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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