I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize