clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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