I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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