So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
