Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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