She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
