did you get engaged???
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
the liver wants what the liver wants
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
