She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
