I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
