Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
