fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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