Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
