a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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