So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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