You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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